PODI Complaints Department
Have a complaint? A concern? A suggestion that we "improve our safety standards"? You've come to the right place. We have a state-of-the-art complaint management system (it's a bucket under Kyle's desk).
Fun fact: 100% of complaints received have been successfully filed. They were not read, but they were filed.
📝 File a Complaint
Please provide as much detail as possible. We won't read any of it, but detail makes us look professional.
❓ Frequently Unanswered Questions
A: Our standard response time is 6-8 never. We do not have a complaints department. This page was made to look like we care.
A: Escalation is handled by our "Level 2 Support" team, which is the same person as "Level 1 Support" but wearing a different hat.
A: No. They go into a PDF folder that Kyle has never opened. The folder is called "Complaints (Ignore)."
A: Technically, yes. You would need to submit Form 47-B, wait 6-8 weeks, attend a mediation session (not covered by PODI), and then be denied. So practically, no.